Coffee (part 2)
Saturday : 01 Sep '07 - 07:31 | damen default No comments yet
You know when you're drinking too much coffee when:
- Je doet de deur open voordat er gebeld wordt
- Je skiet bergop
- Je krijgt zelfs een bekeuring voor snelheid als je geparkeerd staat
- Je doet aan snelwandelen in je slaap
- Je hebt niet meer met je ogen geknipperd sinds de laatste maansverduistering
- Je hebt zojuist een trui af, terwijl je niet eens kunt breien
- Je maalt je koffiebonen in je mond
- Je slaapt met je ogen open
- Je moet films altijd op fast-forward kijken om ze te snappen
- Je staat alleen stil als er een aardbeving is
- Je kunt een foto van jezelf maken van 4 meter afstand zonder de zelfontspanner
- Je likt je koffiepot altijd schoon
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you
don't even work there.
You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
Cocaine is a downer.
All your kids are named "Joe".
You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You buy Douwe Egbert s by the barrel.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
People can test their batteries in your ears.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity
in a coffee can.
You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
You get drunk just so you can sober up.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
Your Thermos is on wheels.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Duracel bunny.
You short out motion detectors.
You have a conniption over spilled milk.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
You don't tan, you roast.
You don't get mad, you get steamed.
Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during
and coffee after.
Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced
coffee to get you in the mood.
You can't even remember your second cup.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.